“Do
you have any recommendations on where I should order lunch from?” Ross says
into the phone, “I’m starving.” It’s 1:11 on a Tuesday and he hasn’t eaten
anything since the granola bar and apple he munched at 5:30 that morning. He’s
talking to his fiancé, Meg; they’re in their fourth week of running a new
business and there’s not always a whole lot of time to eat.
Ross
and Meg opened Function Coffee Labs in Bella Vista, replacing Down Dog Café on
the corner of Carpenter and 10th. They’re using carefully selected
beans, top-of-the-line equipment, and an obsessive eye for detail to craft the
kind of coffee you might appreciate like a good wine.
Ross
gets off the phone, sits on a tiny stool in front of his computer and scrolls
through Grubhub. He’s briefly interrupted when a couple comes in and scans the
chalkboard menu on the wall. It’s a bit different than the usual coffee shop
lineup. Four roasts, like Cerrado Gold from Brazil or El Retiro from Columbia,
are listed above guidance for the best way to enjoy them. The ‘preparedas’
include pour overs, lattes, coffee shots (same intensity as an espresso shot,
without the bitterness of espresso), and cortados (slightly smaller than a cappuccino
with about equal parts steamed milk, equal parts espresso). Flavors like
‘honey,’ ‘grapefruit,’ ‘peanut’ are listed under each roast. “All those tasting
notes should be there,” Ross says, “You gotta make it taste as good as it says
it does on the bag.”
As
he places the coffee shot on the bar, a slim guy walks in pulling off a blue
cooler-backpack. “…I have a burrito order?” he says hesitantly, looking around.
Ross looks relieved as he takes the paper bag. Not even pausing to sit down, he
unwraps the foil and takes a bite. It’s some kind of breakfast burrito from the
new Wild Burrito in South Philly. “It’s really good,” he says, “I’d definitely
order it again.”
When
Meg works in the shop with Ross, she’ll usually order lunch. She often calls
over to Santucci’s and walks down the block to pick it up. Ross likes their
BBQ pulled pork sandwich, pizza with prosciutto and longhots, the turkey club
wrap, and sweet potato fries (which are “not consistent, but when they’re good,
they’re the best I’ve ever had,”).
Sometimes
there’s no time to order or pick up. “In the beginning, when we weren’t selling
any pastries, I’d just eat pastries for lunch,” Ross laughs, pulling a second
burrito from the bag – it’s a 2pm two-in-one. The lunch burrito is vegetarian:
peppers, onions, and cilantro lime rice with guacamole and crema. Ross is happy
with this one too. He’s perched on a low stool behind the counter, both elbows
on his knees, leaning forward and finally filling up. “Mostly my lunch is
really sad, so this is nice.”
Ross
doesn’t plan to serve lunch at Function. Maybe a quiche here and there, but
overall he thinks it would distract their attention from the true focus of the
place: exceptional coffee.
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Here
are a few of the things Ross considers in his quest to make the best coffee:
The coffee cherries must be harvested at peak ripeness; they must be dried
carefully so they don’t ferment; they should be roasted lightly (though not too
light or it will taste grassy); they should be ground to even particles; they
need to have contact with the right temperature water for the correct amount of
time when brewed or extracted; and the final product should be at the proper
temperature when sipped. He tasted coffee from 50-60 roasters before he chose
their house roaster (Ceremony Coffee Roasters in Annapolis, MD). He uses
scales, thermometers and timers every time her makes a drink.
Ross
studied mechanical engineering at Penn. After graduating, he moved to England
where he taught Physics for six years. He got into coffee around the time he
started running marathons and discovered that caffeine was a performance
enhancer. After weeding through gas station-like coffee and making his own
‘super strong espresso thing in a French press,’ he found good coffee, and an interest in making it himself. He went to shops
all over Europe with Meg and studied coffee blends and barista techniques
online. In his last year in England he taught a class on coffee brewing. “I’m
the kind of person that, once I get into something, I have to know everything
about it and make it the best it can be.”